Submission - Who Me?

Ladies, have you struggled with the concept of submission to your husband?

It seems like such a simple concept. God created. God is a God of order. God makes the rules. God loves me.

God is the head of Christ. My husband is my head.

What did you say? Did you say I have to obey my husband?

No, that is not what submission is all about. Submission is willingly placing yourself under authority. Jesus willingly placed himself under God the Father's authority. In the garden he prayed for His Father to take the cup of suffering away. BUT he willingly went to the cross because that was His Father's will. Jesus the man did not want to suffer. He did not want to feel pain. He did not want to be separated from His Father. He did all of this for us because he loves us. Jesus the Christ submitted to the Father.

We as wives are commanded to submit to the authority of our husbands. I think we got the easier part of the deal. Our husbands are directly responsible to God. They are to love us like Christ loves the Church. Christ laid down his very life for us, His Church. We are asked to submit, to allow our husband to be the head of our home.

Let's get this out of the way first. No husband is given the authority to abuse his wife. No beating, shoving, pushing allowed. No husband is given the authority to verbally harm his wife. Husbands are to build up with their tongues just as wives are to encourage with their tongues.
If you are a woman who is being abused - LEAVE NOW. Get help to leave. Take the children with you. If a man is abusing his wife you cannot trust that he would never harm the children. There are many places that will help you. It is not hopeless. Get Christian counsel AFTER you leave. There is always hope for reconciliation and healing. God can do anything. Do not stay in danger from the one who is supposed to protect you.

Ok, now for the rest of us. You say "I don't want to do what he says." "I want to do it my way." "I'm smarter than he." "My way is really better." "He isn't following God the way he should." We can go on and on with excuses...

Do we really believe God only meant submit if our husband is perfect? That's not possible - All have sinned and fallen short. What are the real reasons we don't want to submit? Doesn't it really come down to pride? We don't want to.

We know we should submit but how do we submit? There are many books and seminars out there. There are many different perspectives regarding submission to one's husband. I will share mine.

Many people who know me think it is easy for me to submit. They think that my personality is just submissive. Those who really know me know I am very stubborn. It is not easy at all to submit. I am a strong woman who can intellectually spar with anyone if I choose. I have to remind myself that God made me the way he made me for a reason. It is not to put myself above others intellectually or spiritually. Humility is another subject. Let's get back to the subject of today. It is not easy for me to submit to anyone, even my husband.

My husband tells me that I do submit to him. He says I have submitted most of the time since we married. I am grateful that he thinks I have but I know that I have not. I often have little tissy fits first. Most of the time I am the only witness of my tissy fit. Often it is all in my mind, quietly. We are coming up to our 29th year of marriage. I can say the more I have practiced submission the easier it gets. I have learned several things over the years of practicing submission.

1. God will always honor my act of submission.
Even when I was right and he was wrong God works it all out.

2. My husband has never asked me to do anything illegal or against God's laws but if he did I would not have to submit in that specific circumstance. My husband knows and respects my integrity and he also knows that when it comes down to it I will submit to his will. Notice I said his will. My husband is a work in progress just like the rest of us. He is not perfect. My acts of submission always allow God to work it out with and in my husband. I do not want to get in the way of God's will. My husband's relationship with The Father is his. My relationship with The Father is mine. Let's not get holier than thou with one another. God created me to be my husband's helper.

3. It really is for my good. Submission allows my husband to protect me and love me.

So what is submission?

It is when we willingly place ourselves under the authority of another. Submitting to our own husbands is God's plan. Willingly is the hardest part but if we practice long enough it will become easier. It is not being a doormat or wimp. It actually takes a lot more strength to submit to another's will. Try it ladies. You may be surprised with the side benefits God will provide just for you.