Submission - Who Me?

Ladies, have you struggled with the concept of submission to your husband?

It seems like such a simple concept. God created. God is a God of order. God makes the rules. God loves me.

God is the head of Christ. My husband is my head.

What did you say? Did you say I have to obey my husband?

No, that is not what submission is all about. Submission is willingly placing yourself under authority. Jesus willingly placed himself under God the Father's authority. In the garden he prayed for His Father to take the cup of suffering away. BUT he willingly went to the cross because that was His Father's will. Jesus the man did not want to suffer. He did not want to feel pain. He did not want to be separated from His Father. He did all of this for us because he loves us. Jesus the Christ submitted to the Father.

We as wives are commanded to submit to the authority of our husbands. I think we got the easier part of the deal. Our husbands are directly responsible to God. They are to love us like Christ loves the Church. Christ laid down his very life for us, His Church. We are asked to submit, to allow our husband to be the head of our home.

Let's get this out of the way first. No husband is given the authority to abuse his wife. No beating, shoving, pushing allowed. No husband is given the authority to verbally harm his wife. Husbands are to build up with their tongues just as wives are to encourage with their tongues.
If you are a woman who is being abused - LEAVE NOW. Get help to leave. Take the children with you. If a man is abusing his wife you cannot trust that he would never harm the children. There are many places that will help you. It is not hopeless. Get Christian counsel AFTER you leave. There is always hope for reconciliation and healing. God can do anything. Do not stay in danger from the one who is supposed to protect you.

Ok, now for the rest of us. You say "I don't want to do what he says." "I want to do it my way." "I'm smarter than he." "My way is really better." "He isn't following God the way he should." We can go on and on with excuses...

Do we really believe God only meant submit if our husband is perfect? That's not possible - All have sinned and fallen short. What are the real reasons we don't want to submit? Doesn't it really come down to pride? We don't want to.

We know we should submit but how do we submit? There are many books and seminars out there. There are many different perspectives regarding submission to one's husband. I will share mine.

Many people who know me think it is easy for me to submit. They think that my personality is just submissive. Those who really know me know I am very stubborn. It is not easy at all to submit. I am a strong woman who can intellectually spar with anyone if I choose. I have to remind myself that God made me the way he made me for a reason. It is not to put myself above others intellectually or spiritually. Humility is another subject. Let's get back to the subject of today. It is not easy for me to submit to anyone, even my husband.

My husband tells me that I do submit to him. He says I have submitted most of the time since we married. I am grateful that he thinks I have but I know that I have not. I often have little tissy fits first. Most of the time I am the only witness of my tissy fit. Often it is all in my mind, quietly. We are coming up to our 29th year of marriage. I can say the more I have practiced submission the easier it gets. I have learned several things over the years of practicing submission.

1. God will always honor my act of submission.
Even when I was right and he was wrong God works it all out.

2. My husband has never asked me to do anything illegal or against God's laws but if he did I would not have to submit in that specific circumstance. My husband knows and respects my integrity and he also knows that when it comes down to it I will submit to his will. Notice I said his will. My husband is a work in progress just like the rest of us. He is not perfect. My acts of submission always allow God to work it out with and in my husband. I do not want to get in the way of God's will. My husband's relationship with The Father is his. My relationship with The Father is mine. Let's not get holier than thou with one another. God created me to be my husband's helper.

3. It really is for my good. Submission allows my husband to protect me and love me.

So what is submission?

It is when we willingly place ourselves under the authority of another. Submitting to our own husbands is God's plan. Willingly is the hardest part but if we practice long enough it will become easier. It is not being a doormat or wimp. It actually takes a lot more strength to submit to another's will. Try it ladies. You may be surprised with the side benefits God will provide just for you.

Rebellion

I have noticed a lot of rebellion in our home-schooled teens and young adults lately.

This has set me to ponder...

Did we think we had secret super powers to prevent rebellion in our own young. Even God's creation- man rebelled. God's creation - angels rebelled. Who do we think we are that we would be exempt?

I do believe that some sheltering will give our children a little extra time to mature. I strongly believe homeschooling is a better way to teach and mentor our children. I also know it is not for everyone so please don't accuse me of judging your choices. I do not judge YOUR decisions!

I know for my family we chose to homeschool. It is a lifestyle more than just an educational choice. Even if we knew what rebellion would be in our midst we still would make the same choice.

Let's get back to rebellion. Sheltering is another subject for another day.
When our children rebel what should we do? What should our reaction be? What about when our friend is going through it?

Do we look at our friends and fellow sisters in Christ and think - "They must have done something wrong. I wonder what they are 'really' like at home that their child would behave this way? At least that would NEVER happen to my children!"

Of course we make parenting mistakes. We are not perfect. We are tired sometimes. We get snappy sometimes. However, God is perfect and yet we his children rebel.

We need look no further than the Word of God to find the answers. What is God's reaction when we rebel? What does he do? Does he turn away from us? Does he get angry and retaliate? Does he ever forgive us? How many times does he forgive us? Why does he forgive us?

We, of course, are not God but we need to forgive our rebellious prodigal children too. We may be angry but need to take care that we do not sin in our anger and hurt. We also need to set boundaries to protect our other children and ourselves from the one in rebellion.

God did cast Satan out from His presence when Satan rebelled against God. He did allow Satan a place to exist. He even allows Satan temporary dominion. There is a line though. God does not allow Satan power over His children. He also has declared that there will be judgement and an end to Satan's dominion.

God has given us free will and our children also have free will. We draw the boundaries and guide our children to know God's character and love. They then have to make the choice.
It is not my job to save my children only to show them the way. This is actually much more difficult. We have to be accountable. We have to act out what we believe. Our children are watching and listening to everything we do and say. They are judging our actions against our words daily.

Those of you who know details of our child's rebellion know the pain it has caused. I can tell you that I know God is with us. He has held us up and given us peace. He is refining us to be more like Him. I can only pray that I am pleasing in His sight.

I can also say with certainty that I did teach God's character and ways. When a rebellious child says "I believe in God and Know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that I should become His child. BUT I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO, Not Even God! I want to be in charge of my own life." Then I know that they understand and know. It is not my fault. They are making the choice. I also know that there is HOPE! My child Knows what they should do. There is always hope that they will one day return and that God will draw them to Himself.

So what do I do?
I pray continually for my prodigal and my non-prodigals equally.
My husband and I pray together for our own marriage and family.
I set boundaries with my prodigal that protect my other children and husband and myself.
I keep communication as open as possible with my prodigal.
I pray for God to heal the broken relationships within the family.
I stay in the Word of God and check my own attitude daily.(sometimes hourly)
I do what I can to live in peace as much as depends on me.
I keep on doing what God would have me do...

Just a Glimpse

If you have been following my blog you will notice the change of name.

I was supposed to be Marmie to the grandchildren. The girls agreed and named me when they were much younger. However, Josh calls me Mimi. It fits well. It is further from Mama or Mommy than Marmie. It was also what the Thomas boys called their Grandma Thomas. So Mimi it is.

I chose Just a Glimpse because it fits all of what my blog has come to be... a glimpse into our special times as a family, a glimpse into my mind, a glimpse of what God is teaching us.

I hope you enjoy just a glimpse into my very heart.