I do not have a very good memory. I have always had trouble remembering details but maybe I just don't really notice the details in the first place. I've come to realize I don't have a very good visual memory.
I usually have more of a global memory of the past. I remember feelings and smells.
So it always amazes me when something triggers a memory of when I was a child.
Sometimes it's a pleasant memory and I remember being free as a child. I can remember ice cream cones and donuts with my dad. I remember going to Woolworths in Pasadena with my Grandma. I remember threading the same grandma's needles after church on Sunday's at the rest home. 50 black and 50 white because her sight was failing but she could differentiate between light and dark thread.
Often it's a mixed memory. I remember the extreme fear when a couple in a car stopped us on our way home. They said my mom had been in an accident and might die. That we were to get in the car with them and they would take us to her. I especially remember the loud "No! Don't get in that car" and the feeling of being grabbed by the back of my shirt while I grabbed my sister and being tossed away from the couple. Feet hit the sidewalk running. Ran home and there was my mom; upset because we were late. The next day two girls bodies were found in the foothills. I believe God sent an Angel to protect us.
I am more surprised when someone says or does something and a bad memory surfaces. Things I have pushed aside for years. It comes rushing back with all the emotions that accompanied the event the first time.
I wonder if I don't have such a poor memory but have pushed aside so much that I just have vague memories of the past.
I know that there is healing.
Maybe I wasn't strong enough before...
I am weak but He has made (is making) me strong.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
