People tell me to write a book. I feel that God has placed a desire to write a book about faith like a child. He gave me that title just yesterday during the sermon at church.
Who am I to write a book about faith?
I want to have faith.
I desire faith.
I have been told I have faith.
I think I have had faith.
Where did it go?
Why is it suddenly so hard?
My mind knows the Word of God. My heart loves the Word of God. My soul longs for the Word of God.
I know it is the enemy of my soul who is attacking.
He whispers "You don't really have enough faith. You never had any real faith. You are actually the cause of troubles. It is your own ego that thinks you have any faith. You are really just like me, wanting others to see you as good."
Leave me alone Satan. I am not listening to your lies.
But Kat...you are the one who had faith that God would provide and your husband deceived you and others. It really is your fault. You MADE him do it. You put pressure on him with your unwavering faith. Where was God then? You are nothing. You do not deserve to be in God's family. Your denial of reality forces people to lie to you.
NO! I will not listen to untruth.
But Kat...you are the one who lies. You believed the lies others told you. You have not been wise. You repeated the lies you were told. You should have known. If you were one of God's people you would have known.
NO! NO! NO! Go away! You will not turn the Word of God against me.
I will use the Word of God to make you flee. I command you to leave in the name of Jesus Christ, the son of God.
See...I'm still here. I don't have to leave because you don't really have any faith at all. Ha ha ha.
It's ok. I will always be here for YOU.
I know you will be hanging around. I know that you are like a roaring lion looking for prey.
I refuse to be your dinner. I refuse to accept your lies.
I am a child of God.
You may cause trouble in this world but a day is coming that you will not be able to harass me ever again.
If I have the faith of a mustard seed that faith can move mountains.
MOUNTAIN PLEASE MOVE!
I asked nicely.
I command you MOUNTAIN MOVE!
Ok.
So the mountain doesn't appear to be moving.
What now?
God will make a way.
Ok God...make a way. I release it all to you.
Where is it?
Where is the path?
What are we going to do?
God will provide.
When?
Where is the provision?
Why are we struggling so?
See... I told you. You don't even have the faith of a mustard seed. And mustard seeds are very very small.
Just STOP IT.
I will be faithful.
I will praise you my God even in the struggle.
I will love you my God even when that mountain does not move.
I will sing to the Lord even when I can't see a way.
Heavenly Father. I love you and seek you.
Give me peace in the struggle.
Grow my faith. Help me strengthen my armor against the enemy of my soul.
Ok self...get to work. On your knees. In the Word. Keep loving others. Love yourself a little more.
Take one day at a time.
Crickets
Peace
