Punishment or Protection

Do you feel like others have let you down?
Do you blame God for your current circumstances?

Did you do everything most of the time in a relationship?
Did you truly forgive?
Did you truly put the other first?
Did you pray?
Did you?

No one is perfect. We all fail. We are all guilty of not being kind all the time.
We all sometimes get priorities out of order.

I did try.
I did pray.
I did forgive.

I have examined motives.
I have examined priorities.
I have examined where I went wrong.

I was faithful.
I was correctable.
I was also blinded.

Do you blame God when it all falls apart?
Do you blame God because you trusted?
Do you accuse God of not caring?
Do you accuse God of not keeping promises?

Do you just blame yourself?
You didn’t see it. You must not be good enough.
You don’t deserve to be loved.
You are just too imperfect to keep it all together.

Maybe you did what is required.
Maybe you did more…

Consider
God loves you.
God loves you even when…
God cares about you.
God always keeps His promises.

You are a child of the King.
You are a loved one of the most High.
You just need to have faith and love.

They also are loved by God.
They also are loved even when…
They also are a child of the King.

Their faith may not be as strong.
They may not know they are loved even when…
They may have been given more time to change.

It may be their salvation that is at stake.
It may be their relationship with Him that is in jeopardy.

I know God always keeps His promises.
I am strong through Him.
He has always protected me.
He protects me even now.

I am not a failure in His eyes.
They can still be saved.
I am a daughter of the most High.
They can be...even still.

My God protects me always.
My God loves me always.
My God is close even when…
He is my shelter.
He is my strength.

These are just words for many…
They are solid truth for some.
I choose to trust in God.
I pray always for you to know Him.



*note - I does refer to myself. They and them refers to a multitude of people in yours and my lives. They and them do not specify any particular person or event so please do not be offended. Convicted maybe but no offense only love. You does mean You my dear reader.

Open letter to MI students

Dearest MI Students,

I am so excited for you as you enter or continue this journey of higher education. I am a mom, grand mom, fellow ministry leader, fellow member of the church. I pray for each of you but I don't really know any of you well. I do know a few of you by name. I love hearing about the successes of each one. I pray for your struggles and triumphs. I pray for your relationships with each other and your families. I pray for your perseverance in your studies and your striving for excellence in all areas of your lives.

I would like to encourage you to grow in your faith. Make sure it is a personal faith now. You are young adults who may or may not have a firm foundation built by your families and home churches. It is time for real personal faith. This means you will be tested. You will have tragedies among you. You will have joy among you. You will have emotions you may have never experienced personally before now. Temptations will be hovering. I will not list them but read Galations 5.

I would like to directly address a few statements I heard several times now from MI students.

1. Why do I as a first year student have to do rotations if I grew up involved in the church and already know what I want to do?

The short answer is you do it because it's in the program. Everyone means everyone.

The longer answer may be that while YOU know what you want to do...Is that what God wants you to do? Maybe it is. Doing your rotations should help you know for sure. 

What if God puts you in a small church somewhere in the world? You would need to know how to do it all. 

What if you are one whom God has gifted more than one gift or talent? You may not know yet what those gifts are unless you try them out. We can all use one talent and learn to use it well. When God gives you more than one gift He expects you to use each one of them. More responsibility comes with more talents and gifts.

So maybe you just KNOW that you don't like working with children. What then?

Do it anyway. Do it with courage and be kind. You have to do things in life that you don't like. It's good for you. Really. Ask any of my children who are now all in the adult years if this is true.

2. I can't wait until I'm a 2nd, 3rd or 4th year student. I'm so glad I'm not a 1st or 2nd year student anymore.

Great! I'm glad to hear you love it here. 

What? That's not what you meant? You mean then you won't have to do such and such or this and that?

Those who can't wait...Why? Is it because you don't like the rules? Is it because you want more freedom? Is it because you have not been doing your part cheerfully? Are you jealous of the students who appear to do less? Do you think it's not fair?

I have heard all of these things from students this past weekend and year.

I pray for you to persevere. I pray for your attitudes. I love you all and want you to grow and be lights to this world. 

It's ok to feel these things. It's not ok to complain. You may have one person other than God that you can be accountable with and vent your feelings. If you need someone, I am available and do not judge. 

My concern is that those younger than you are listening. Those still in High School, Jr. High and even younger. They hear these grumblings and are making decisions regarding their future. MI is not for every future student. Please allow those coming up to hear God and make a decision without prejudice. Yes they need to know the expectations. Yes they should know the pros And cons. But they do not need to hear grumbling.

Those who are so glad they aren't ... Why? Did you not learn anything? Have you not grown in your relationships? Do you feel you are now somehow better than newer/younger students? Did you feel overburdened and now just feel more free? Do you think the dirty work is beneath you?

If you did not learn anything please change that now. Everyone can learn something new every day. 

Book learning is not the only kind of important learning in college. 

Relationships are always growing and changing. Change can be good if there is also growth and always love and compassion.

Jesus teaches us to put ourselves below others not above. He put himself below by washing feet and incredibly sacrificing himself for us.

College is tough. Freshman year is tough. While you are in a safer place than some it is still hard to leave home and start to be responsible for yourself. 

3. Cliques are just not good. I know it's hard. I know people tend to "group up" with people who are similar and have similar interests. 

I implore you to include all. Don't be too sensitive to perceived slights. Sometimes a RBF is just a mind elsewhere. Most of the time if someone seems standoffish they don't know how to jump in. If someone is on the outside YOU invite them in. Don't wait for someone else to do it. You do it. Always. Every single time. Do keep personal boundaries. No one is allowed to manipulate you or take advantage but at least invite them in. We are not all in the same place emotionally, spiritually or maturity so try to forgive others and give a little more.

I am a quiet person in general. I have been misunderstood by others and it really hurts. When I say I care I mean it. When I say I don't judge you I mean it. By the grace of God I am still here and still love people. All people. All the time. We all have baggage from our lives. The longer you live the bigger that baggage can become. Set it down and don't pick it up again. Learn from the past but don't take it with you into the present and certainly don't pick it up in the future. If you can really learn to trust God with everything you will have peace and joy in all circumstances.

If you read this whole thing thank you. If you skipped to the end here it is in a few sentences.

Love God, love others. Pray hard and study hard. Be kind. Have courage and be a light to others.

I will be praying for each one of you. I am certain you each have more praying for you than you will ever know. God is always with you and ahead of you. 

May you be blessed always with God's grace.

Kathleen Thomas

Powered by Promise A Life Surrendered

I wanted to share these sermon notes with you. I take a lot of notes and then I usually write them out so I can apply them in a more useful personal way.

This is my way of remembering and applying. Share in the comments your way of absorbing what you learn from your pastor.

Our sermon series this year is Powered by Promise. We are hearing about God's promises through different people in the Bible. We have already heard from Peter, Paul, Jesus and Abraham. This week started in the words of Joseph. I have really loved this series. I want to share what I learned today as it applies to everyone. Everyone experiences fear. Everyone needs to choose whether to allow fear to bind them or surrender to God and be free.

Joseph's story is very intense. Here is a short synopsis. 

Joseph was his father's favorite son. His father favored him above all of his older brothers. This favor gave Joseph's brothers an excuse to hate him. I think Joseph probably liked being the favorite. He probably wore his special multi-colored coat with a bit of a swagger around his brothers, he was the youngest after all.

His brothers really hated him. They wanted to kill him but Ruben had a small soft spot for Joseph and suggested that they make a little money for themselves by selling Joseph instead of killing him.

Joseph was taken to Egypt where as a Hebrew he was despised and hated by the Egyptians. He was the lowest of low. He was purchased and worked in Potiphar's house. It did not take long before Joseph learned to speak Egyptian and showed Potiphar how valuable a servant he could be. He was placed in a high position, yet still a slave, in the house. But...Potiphar's wife also noticed Joseph. She wanted him for her own pleasure. Yet Joseph had integrity and even in slavery surrendered his life to God. Potiphar's wife was angry that Joseph would not submit to her and made accusations against him. SO... Joseph was thrown into the Pharoah's prison. He was just sitting in prison for years. BUT Pharoah had some troubling dreams that no one could interpret. It came to Pharoah that this Hebrew slave sitting in his prison might be able to interpret the dream. Joseph, with the insight from God, was able to tell Pharoah what his dreams meant. Pharoah was impressed with Joseph and put him in charge of much.

Seven years of plenty, then seven years of famine. The wisdom of Joseph was saving Egypt from starvation. Joseph was such a good manager that there was enough food for people outside of Egypt. Joseph's brothers were sent to get food...skip a bunch of things at that meeting...Jacob died. Josephs brothers were afraid. What would Joseph do to them now that Dad was gone? They lied and made up a story that Jacob wanted Joseph to forgive them. Joseph had already forgiven them and he wept when he realized his own brothers were afraid of him. 

Joseph lived a life surrendered to God and he was favored by God.

What can we learn from Joseph?

Joseph told his brothers "You intended to harm me but God intended it for good."

God will take your pain and use it for gain if you live your life surrendered to God.

Turbulence is part of life on earth. It is normal to be afraid. God wants you to become brave.

Freedom from the Fear of the Immediate

Which is your default mechanism?

It is human to be afraid. Is fear your default? Do you react in fear?

Divine has no fear. Is peace your default? Do you react with faith?

Life happens in real time. We do and say stupid things when we are afraid. There is no DVR or pause button in real life. When we live in fear we are relying on our own selves. We react to circumstances with emotional unthinking speech and actions. We live with a lot of regret.

A surrendered life is a stabilized life. When we learn to surrender everything to God we gain peace. Peace is not just a feeling but a calm that can diffuse the immediate.

Joseph knew what his brothers did not know. God is in control.

Freedom from the Fear of the Future

Swim in a river not a pond. 

Many people are in a perpetual state of fear because of circumstances. God knows your circumstances. He already has it. He is already provided for you. He is here with you now and ahead of you in the future.

The brave may not live forever but the cautious don't live at all. Have confidence for the future. Our hope is in Christ. He died for us once and has already defeated the evil one. Our Father in heaven is patient with us. He waits a while longer not because He wants evil to have more time to wreak havoc but because He desires that All would come to know Him. 

So consuming is the fear of the future there is a paralysis of over analyses. 

Oh we can all relate to this. Did you ever stress over a final in school to the point of forgetting everything? Have you ever needed to act but couldn't start because you couldn't decide what would be best in the long run? 

In Him we live and move and have our being.

We want to be in control. Jesus take the wheel.

Surrender

Freedom from the Fear of the Past

So many are victimized by people.

People hurt us. People cannot be counted on to always be there. There are people who are selfish, unkind, evil.

Do we just wallow in the past pain and anguish? Do we allow the past to prevent us to love in the immediate or future? Most people who hurt others are hurt themselves. Let's break the cycle and let go of being a victim. 

Many by negative memories.

The past can be filled with regret. Regret for things we did wrong. Regret for things we should have done. Regret for opportunities missed.

God will take the energy out of the memories. You will not forget the past but it can no longer hold you hostage. 

Lost confidence from the past. Fear that you just can't change, succeed or trust again.

When we lose our confid

Freedom from the fear of Humanity

Free from fear of man

People pleasing is a fear of man

Afraid to discipline your children is a fear 

You are their parent not their friend

Afraid to stand up to your peer group is a fear of man

You do need to care or you will become arrogant

Moderation 

Need to be disciples

Need to be docile

Surrendered from people pleasing

God has an unending love for us.

My take away for me is...

God's love for me is unending.

Thanksgiving 2014

30 days of Thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving

 Time for the annual month of Thanksgiving...

Day 1 
I am thankful for rain.

Day 2
I am thankful for a home that is shelter from the elements and is also a safe place to just be.
  
Day 3 
I am very thankful for good health. I pray it continues. I am certainly doing my part. 

Day 4 
I am thankful to have the ability to freely vote and have a voice in elections. For everyone who votes there are many who don't bother. However small your voice it doesn't count if you don't vote.

Day 5 
I am thankful for my parents. I feel fortunate to have four of them all still here. My parents are all available any time and even though we are distanced by the miles the phone is only a moment away.

Day 6
I am incredibly thankful that even though I lost a husband I did not lose the family I have been a part of for the past 35 years. Love you and am thankful for you...Ida Thomas, William Thomas, Mandy Hale Thomas, Ron Thomas, David Thomas, Ellen Hagen Collins and those not on FB...

Where did day 7 go? Ok here it is again.
I am so incredibly thankful for my daughters. They are all beautiful, strong young women today. They make good decisions and are always ready to help a friend in need. They also have compassion for the needy in society without judgement.
I am blessed to be their Mom.

Day 8 
I am thankful God heals the heart. Today was bittersweet but I am not in pain anymore. I have accepted what life holds and that it is always changing. I know I am not alone and that God has a plan for me. I look forward to the future and all the surprises ahead.

Day 9 I am thankful for literacy. It is more than just the mechanics of reading and writing. I love teaching reading, writing, logic and how to interpret what is written.

Day 10
I am thankful for seasons. In SoCal I was aware that there are four seasons. We did seasonal crafts with the kids...Now I have experienced four seasons. I love it!

Day 11
I will jump into the holiday thanks for our service men and women. I am thankful for all who have served.

Day 12
I am thankful for heat. This morning it was 19 degrees when we got up. I was toasty in my bed but as soon I I got up...freezing. I will say I breath well in the cold air at night so as long as we are bundles up the cold nights are welcome. We are not used to using heaters so this is a new experience for us and we will see how well we manage the delicate balance between the need for heat and keeping the electric bill down. We are in an all electric townhome. Even cooking has been an adjustment for me.

Day 13 
I am thankful for baking...there is nothing better to warm up your day than baking a pie or bread or cookies or cake or... You fill in the blank. I love to bake.

Day 14 
I am thankful for family.

Day 15
I am thankful for the holidays. I love both Thanksgiving and the entire Christmas season through Twelfth Night. It is such a fun time of year especially with children. The kids have already spied some of Santa's elves checking out kid behavior in the stores. Shhh...our elves are on their way.

Day 16 
I am thankful that the people who really know me really know me. They know my beliefs and that I don't judge others. They know that I love and accept people where they are in life. 
They know that the rose colored glasses have to be forcibly ripped from my eyes and they love me enough to not rip them away but be gentle. 
They know me enough to not believe stuff heard or written about me that does not fit what they know about me.
They know my character has not changed and will not change because of life stuff. 
These are the people in my life that I am very thankful are my friends.

(English buffs please excuse any grammatical errors in above post.) 

Day 17 
Sometimes it's the little things...the frost patterns on the window, the scents of fall, the warm gloves and scarves. I am thankful for the little things every day.

Day 18
I am thankful that I get to spend every day with my grandchildren. I love to play and teach and am privileged to be trusted enough to homeschool them with my daughter. It is exciting to help children find their gifts and develop their strengths.

Day 19
I am thankful even during the midst of the storms.

Day 20
I am thankful my children and grandchildren have great imaginations and Know how to really play. Playing takes time and I know a lot of kids don't have time anymore. I am grateful we have been able to make the time for play.

Day 21
I am thankful for the love of learning and that it has been handed down the generations. My parents have a love for learning, my siblings and myself love to learn, my children and grandchildren all love to learn. It is a lifelong quest.

Day 22 
I am thankful to have had the joy of knowing my grandparents and my children and grandchildren get to know, love and have their grandparents and great grandparents in their lives.

Day 23
I am thankful for friendships that stand the test of time and trials.

Day 24
I am thankful for the ability to adapt. I have seen and experienced the ability to adapt to change and life circumstances in my own life. I have also seen that the ability to adapt is not easy for many so I am thankful for the ability to adapt.

Day 25
I am thankful for light. All kinds of light...daylight, light bulbs, moonlight, flashlight, candlelight.

Day 26
I am thankful I know God loves me and He loves you also. He loves me the way I am right now and he love you in whatever stage or circumstance you are in right now. He love me always and he loves you from before you were born. He loves me even when I'm wrong and he loves you even if you don't love Him.

Day 27
Happy Thanksgiving. Today is a day we stop and reflect about all the Blessings we have in this country.

Day 28  
I am thankful for Christmas trees and lights and Santa and Elves and Christmas music and nativity scenes and...
Can you tell the decorating has begun? Fun fun fun

Day 29
I am thankful that my daughters like having me around. It would be very lonely if they didn't.

Day 30
I'm so excited today. We are surprising the kids with a trip on the Polar Express in Chahalis. They don't know yet. 
I am thankful for surprises!

Thanksgiving 2015

30 days of thanks

Day1

Thankful for Fall.

Football, cinnamon and cloves, pumpkins, rain...

Day 2 

I am thankful for peace. Peace that is a gift from God. Continue to calm my heart oh God and may I retain the peace that passes all understanding.

Day 3 

I am thankful for open communication.

My children and grands know they can tell me anything and we can talk about anything. 

Honesty is utmost and as long as there is honesty nothing is off the table.

Day 4

I am thankful for cold fall days and nights. And for fleece, fleece blankets, fleece socks, fleece scarves, ...

Day 5 

I am thankful we can find something to celebrate every day!

Did you know there are day of' for every single day? 

https://www.checkiday.com/

Today we will celebrate American Football Day, Love your red hair day and National Doughnut Day!

Day 6 

I am thankful for FaceTime. Thank you Bea and Matt for being available for a little bug who misses extended family. She actually fell asleep listening to your voices talking to Josh. We had to carry her to her bed.

Technology is a good thing. FaceTime is as close to the Jetsons as we get.

Day 7

I am thankful for grandchildren. Living with them brings joy every day.

Day 8

I am thankful for my daughter Julie Thomas Wagner. She is a hard working mom and daughter. She takes care of our family household and has never allowed me to feel like a burden. She is beautiful inside and out.

Day 9

I am thankful for friendships. Old fiends, new friends, IRL friends and online friends. Everyone needs relationships to remain healthy.

Day 10 

I am thankful for adoption. My mommy heart is for my adopted children just as strongly as my birth child. My children are fully grafted into my heart never can this be undone.

Day 11

I am thankful to live in a nation that is still free. We may feel persecuted but we are still free to live the way we want, to worship the way we believe, and to go where we wish. We can reach for the stars if that is our dream.

Day 12

I am thankful for my daughter Beatriz Rose. She is a very hard worker in everything she does. She is an encourager and loves others deeply. She is always there for you.

My favorite memory of her is when she was 5. She would fight you if you even implied that she was not born from me. She would tell "memories" she had with me from before she was born. Our special phrase is "it must be hereditary". We use it a lot because we have so much the same.

Day 13

Very thankful superstitions are false. Yet it makes for less traffic and less crowded stores. 😜 also black cats go on clearance.😻 of course that's if you pass the cat background check 💔 maybe ladders should go on sale on Friday the 13 too.

Day14

Thankful for my daughter Amanda Thomas. She has more persistence and tenacity of anyone I know. She has an internal strength that carries her through many trials. 

Miss your face. ❤️

Day 15

I am thankful for home cooking. I can adapt to family members food sensitivities and likes. 

Yum Chex mix with no sulfites. Home made. It's going fast. Need to make more soon.

Day 16

I am thankful for my Dad. He has and always is there with wisdom only dads can give. He loves fiercely and is loved deeply. I am so very thankful my dad is still here.

Day 17

I am thankful for rainy dark days; that they be few and far apart...but fun when they come.

Time for hot cocoa with marshmallows, board games and movies.  

Oh and I am thankful for electricity!

Day 18

I am thankful for my other mom Tracey Starks. I am so thankful my dad found love with you. You are Blessed and have been a Blessing in my life. Love you always.

Day 19

I am thankful for my little brother Van Starks. I remember when I first got to hold him. I was told that he was my special birthday present. I took it very seriously as a 6 year old. I loved sharing my birthday with my brother. You have grown up into a strong Man who loves the Lord, loves his family and shows love to all those in his path.

Day 20

Thankful for the peace and joy and love from God.

Day 21

Thankful to be back on a Worship Team. Music speaks to my soul. I love helping it speak to yours.

Day 22

You don't get to the beginning of God til you get to the end of you

I am thankful for pastors who give wisdom from God. They help us grow.

Thank you Major & Mrs. Major Henderson, Major Church, Floyd Strater,  Shane Womack, Phyllis Womack, and Roger Archer

Day 23

Thankful for snow and rain and that nip in the air that signals a season change. Fall colors, blazing oranges and red leaves in autumn. Just a little snow for winter fun. Spring flowers Daffodils and Peonies and Tulips. Super long summer days with all that summer has to offer.

I like the seasons. In SoCal we had four seasons also... Warm Hot Blazing Hot and a few days of rain.

Day 24

Thankful for joyful laughter and children giggles.

Day 25

I am thankful for alternative and traditional medical practitioners. I like using both- complimentary medical.

Chiropractic has eliminated my migraines and greatly decreased my need for asthma medications. Oils and herbs have helped us stay healthy and alleviated aches and pains.

Day 26

I am thankful for family! Love all of my family.

Day 27

I am thankful for my mom. Moms are nice to you no matter what. My mom is always available for me. She gives really good mom advice when asked. Thanks Mom.

Day 28

I am thankful for Christmas music. Classical, Carols and Contemporary. I like it all.

Day 29

I am thankful I don't have to be a secret football fan anymore!!!

I've been a Seahawks fan since 1977.

Day 30

The final day of thanksgiving for 2015. I have been doing the month of thanks since 2009. I try to keep a heart of thanksgiving every day but actually posting a specific thanks each day for the month of November helps me focus on thankfulness coming into the Christmas season. 

Today I am thankful for all the blessings I have in my life.

Love Is...

Have you found true love?

Do you know what true love is?

What does it look like?

How does it feel?

Where is it?

When I was a child I thought I knew all about love. I thought it was something that zapped you one day and it would last forever. I believed in fairy tale love. Where the beautiful girl or handsome boy would find their one true love and live happily ever after.

When I was a teen I thought I knew nothing about love. I had been through several losses. My Grandmother had passed and I had not been allowed to grieve and say goodbye. My parents did not love each other anymore. We moved more than once. I thought there was really no such thing as love. It was an elusive feeling that did not mean anything real.

When I was a young adult I thought I had rediscovered the love I knew as a child. I was swept off my feet by a young man. He wanted me. He loved me. He said this love was forever. It was not.

I discovered the love a mother has for her child. This child who grew inside of me was special. This is real love.

Then the child started to become her own person. She has a will of her own. She is a child and does not know how her words and actions affect others. She is self centered. 

I discovered love is a choice. I choose to love my child. I choose to love my husband. I choose to love others. I choose to love myself.

I now believe love is true only if from God. 

Can I love enough to give my own child?

I can give my own life much easier than that of my child...yet God gave His only child. I have four children and I do not think I could freely give up the life of any of them. 

God so Loved... He so loved us that he gave His only son so that we might be saved.

Do you get that? God so Loved.

What can we do to show the world God's love?

Should the love we have for people be different than the love the world has for people?

I see people who do not follow Christ show love for others. They help the needy. They have compassion for orphans.They donate money to the sick. They send children to college. The come together in times of tragedy. They stand against evil careful to name the evil and protect the innocent. The innocent who may have characteristics or belief systems of those who carry out evil..

How much more should we who profess love of Christ help the needy, show compassion for orphans, use our money for others? We are to take care of widows and orphans. This is a commandment. We are stewards of the things of earth. This is a gift from God. He trusts us with stuff. He desires that we show His love to people. All people. People who we know. People we don't know. People we like. People we don't like. People like us. People that are not like us. Big sinners, little sinners, outward sinners, inward secret sinners...humans. 

We need to show our love better. We need to guard our hearts against prejudices. We need to be a humble not a prideful people. 

How can we be more loving? How can we feel this kind of love for others? Is it even really possible?

It is possible. It can be real. It can be something you feel deep inside of your heart. 

It does not come naturally. It is not the "normal" for humanity. 

We can have love for people. It takes a little work for some and a lot of work for most. Once you have it you have to keep it. It is easy to lose. We are fragile. We are prideful. We get hurt by people and circumstances. 

There are some ways to develop a true and genuine love for people. 

1. Become more in love with Christ. Read the Word daily. The more you are in the Word of God the more you desire Him. The more you love God the more your heart will love people. Remember God so loved...

2. Develop empathy. Put yourself in another's position. Stop before making a judgement based on appearances. What do you see? Do you see someone who needs God? Do you feel compassion for their needs? Do you feel sorrow for the lost? Do you long for God to wait a little longer so more can come to know Him?

3. Allow Grace. Give the benefit of the doubt. I'm not saying let people harm you but cut others some slack. Let God convict. It's not my job to point out every flaw in another person. Most of us do that enough to ourselves. Example - I know I'm overweight, you don't need to tell me, I can look in the mirror. Love covers. Love forgives. 

Allow grace to flood your own mind and heart. You are loved. You do deserve love. You are favored by God. God so loved...

4. Pray. Pray that you will be a light to the world. Pray for your enemies. Pray for those who have harmed you. Pray for the lost. The more you pray for others the more you will come to love them.

5. Patience. A real genuine love for others will take time. You have a past of hurts and prejudices to overcome. You have to surrender these things before genuine love will be able to take root. Refer to number 3 - Grace. You may not wake up one day and feel love in your heart. It may be a gradual process, a daily step by step. 

6. Practice. Practice love. The more you put love into action the more it will become your default. 

Can you imagine this world if more Christians showed love? How many more would come to know Christ? How many lives would be touched? Think about the lives that would receive comfort in times of need or trouble. Let's reach the world. Let light shine in the darkness. Love really is the answer. We can all know true love.

The Struggle

So here I sit, filled with anxiety and feeling sick. 

People tell me to write a book. I feel that God has placed a desire to write a book about faith like a child. He gave me that title just yesterday during the sermon at church.

Who am I to write a book about faith?

I want to have faith.

I desire faith.

I have been told I have faith.

I think I have had faith.

Where did it go?

Why is it suddenly so hard?

My mind knows the Word of God. My heart loves the Word of God. My soul longs for the Word of God.

I know it is the enemy of my soul who is attacking.

He whispers "You don't really have enough faith. You never had any real faith. You are actually the cause of troubles. It is your own ego that thinks you have any faith. You are really just like me, wanting others to see you as good."

Leave me alone Satan. I am not listening to your lies. 

But Kat...you are the one who had faith that God would provide and your husband deceived you and others. It really is your fault. You MADE him do it. You put pressure on him with your unwavering faith. Where was God then? You are nothing. You do not deserve to be in God's family. Your denial of reality forces people to lie to you.

NO! I will not listen to untruth.

But Kat...you are the one who lies. You believed the lies others told you. You have not been wise. You repeated the lies you were told. You should have known. If you were one of God's people you would have known.

NO! NO! NO! Go away! You will not turn the Word of God against me.

I will use the Word of God to make you flee. I command you to leave in the name of Jesus Christ, the son of God. 

See...I'm still here. I don't have to leave because you don't really have any faith at all. Ha ha ha.

It's ok. I will always be here for YOU.

I know you will be hanging around. I know that you are like a roaring lion looking for prey. 

I refuse to be your dinner. I refuse to accept your lies. 

I am a child of God. 

You may cause trouble in this world but a day is coming that you will not be able to harass me ever again.

If I have the faith of a mustard seed that faith can move mountains. 

MOUNTAIN PLEASE MOVE!

I asked nicely.

I command you MOUNTAIN MOVE!

Ok. 

So the mountain doesn't appear to be moving.

What now?

God will make a way.

Ok God...make a way. I release it all to you.

Where is it?

Where is the path?

What are we going to do?

God will provide.

When?

Where is the provision?

Why are we struggling so?

See... I told you. You don't even have the faith of a mustard seed. And mustard seeds are very very small.

Just STOP IT.

I will be faithful.

I will praise you my God even in the struggle.

I will love you my God even when that mountain does not move.

I will sing to the Lord even when I can't see a way.

Heavenly Father. I love you and seek you.

Give me peace in the struggle.

Grow my faith. Help me strengthen my armor against the enemy of my soul.

Ok self...get to work. On your knees. In the Word. Keep loving others. Love yourself a little more.

Take one day at a time. 

Crickets

Peace